New: Year, Residence, and Gym Memberships

Here I sit in a cozy bistro named “Bonaparte”, which can only shed some light on how unRussian-esque (this is a word) Estonia is. I know I fell asleep in every AP European History class in high school, but I’m pretty sure Napoleon Bonaparte invaded Russia in the 19^th century. In any case, no, I’m still not in Russia. I’m totally in Estonia; in fact, I would prefer if you called me Miss Jenstonia, RE (Resident of Estonia). Yep, you read that correctly, I am officially of resident status – but I’ll get to that a bit later.

HAPPY 2013, EVERYONE! I hope you all were able to celebrate the New Year in a wholesome manner- Lord knows I didn’t. Just kidding. Kind of. No but really, wishing you all a happy, healthy and most inspiring 2013! Stick to your resolutions, but when they start making you unhappy, stick-less, then stick again. Rinse. Repeat.

NYEstonia:

My New Year’s celebration began at 9:00pm on the 31^st and ended 10:30pm on the 1^st. The following things occurred: starters eaten at 10pm, Putin spoke at Midnight, sprinklers lit, fireworks shot in adjacent field – legally, walked in 2 feet of ice water to get to the Old Town, screamed Happy New Year in British accent with champagne bottle in hand for an hour, and made it back by 2am for the main course: salmon and thinly sliced roast potatoes. Mmm mmm. Johnnie Walker and I became the best of friends by 7am, and then I traded him for a little napski (Russian nap) on the couch until noon tea time. I stayed at my friends the whole day and we ate leftovers while movie marathoning our hearts out. I only left the couch once.

These may seem like such trivial details, but there’s something that struck me after the New Years haze faded: PEOPLE.

I get nauseas thinking about the glamorous, over-privileged New Year’s parties that exist throughout the world. The ones that cost a fortune and are too posh to really enjoy. When attire and handbag selection are top priorities. I know I’m being tough and judgmental, but not once did we discuss attire or logistics beforehand. Just be there at 9:00pm and expect to have a good time with good people. Wait, hold up, you didn’t know I had absolutely zero interest in talking about my New Years outfit a month in advance? Too cruel?

But really I had the best time. I never heard a whiny complaint or anything remotely negative. Though my socks were soaking wet from swimming into Old Town, nothing else mattered but being fully present with all those around us. We just giggled in unison as sparklers were lit and champagne glasses clinked. Estonia crew + some Latvians, you are truly a breath of fresh air for a Dallas Jewish girl who’s never cared about anything material except for descent running shoes and cappuccino. Thank you.

Community

Speaking of people, at 11:30pm on January 1^st, I had two American teenagers swing by and stay with me in Tallinn. They were representing BBYO, an international teen-led Jewish movement I was super involved with in high school. In 2 days I showed them my city, the Tallinn I fell in love with from day 1. They were shocked, just like I was, at how truly special the Jewish community is here. When describing the Estonian community, the local Rabbi said, “Because it [the community] is so small, people talk to each other, not about each other”.

 

This resonated hugely in my head. It was so true. As you know, I come from a major U.S. city and most of the information (good or bad) you hear about people is from other people.  Dallas is quite spread out on a geographic level, and you can see that this affects (positively and negatively) the community dynamics. I’m not saying that this is good or bad, I can only tell you how it felt to a middle-class Jewish girl from the ‘burbs. My culture was soccer, sports, art, curly hair club, Hebrew school, Sunday school, BBYO, Camp Sabra, etc. Nothing too Dallas-specific, hence why I don’t think I ever found love or deep appreciation for the city (or state of Texas rather). Except for Tex Mex.

I came from a city with at least 8 synagogues, which rightly so functioned like businesses and competed against one another. Reform vs. Conservative, Orthodox vs. Ultra Orthodox. I never saw integration, I never fully understood community. But I yearned for it. Ask my mother how many soccer, basketball, volleyball, track, art, local Synagogue, and BBYO meetings she took me to until I was 16. My teams were my subcommunities of the greater Dallas community. Finding community in 45,000 Jews in the greater Dallas area was, and still is, a struggle.

After 4 years in Lawrence, Kansas (population 200,000; Jewish students: 2,000), and 4 months in Estonia (population 1,000,000; Jewish: 2,000), I know Community and I know Culture – with capital C’s. Granted this strictly entails the Jewish Community, but now l know what it means to not only to be a part of, but to love and appreciate one. I am someone who needs to understand a concept in its’ most simple form in order to genuinely love (or dislike) something; I cannot be bothered by “things”, by rubbish, by unnecessary words or falsities. KU Hillel and the Estonian Jewish Community gave me this.

After this brief moment of reflection with the local Rabbi, the 2 American teens and I continued touring Tallinn. We surfed the cobble stones from Lower Old Town to Upper, learning Hanseatic history and fantastical myths of Medieval Tallinn from a local Community member. After a few hours one of the teens pointed out to me how often I physically point out to something that is my so-called “favorite”. Oh, what can I say, I love it all – except for the outrageous Euro/Scandinavian price inflation and black-iced roads… and DBI [death by icicle] copywrite JB.

Residence

It was during their visit when I found out Estonia accepted me as a resident. The next morning I rushed over to the Immigration Department to swoop up my ID card. Completely awestruck at the fact I had a personal identification number, and even more awestruck at my strategically posed Soviet “smile”.  Uhhhh Darwin, is this supposed to happen? Natural ex-Soviet adaptation?

Gym Memberships

I decided I would celebrate my residence with a gym membership; after my first gym session, I found that this was a real sign of settlement. The fact that I have a gym in Estonia. I wonder what symbolized settlement to early homo sapiens? Perhaps breeding or tool creation?

At any rate, I am no longer a tourist, a visitor, or someone just passing through. I am really a part of the Jewish community, I am really a resident, I am really someone who has a gym membership (non-binding contract, thank you). I have a freaking gym membership. I AM SO IN!

What’s next? A library card?

2013 y’all!

Jenstonia – Proud RE [Resident of Estonia] and Gym Member. 

View from Gym

JSC orientation: expect the unexpected

and unexpectedly, I made 25 insanely out-of-this-world friends in 4 days. All coming from various geographies, backgrounds, and experiences, all going to different areas on the globe. From Buenos Aires, Rwanda, to India, somehow a shared spirit brought us to New York this week. I sure as hell did not expect to say “I love you” and “I miss you already” 4 days later. That said, I know I’m right where I need to be, and I knew the minute I walked into orientation on Monday.

Monday began with the following quote: “It is not your duty to complete the work…” I stopped reading and thought, “What? This is odd. I don’t have to complete the work? 20 years of psychotic number-fixation through GPA’s, standardized tests and AP classes, you’re telling me I don’t have to complete the work? Seriously?”

I read on, “Neither are you free to desist from it” (Pirkei Avot 2:16 Ethics of the Father). A calming sensation crawled over me.

“It is not your duty to complete the work. Neither are you free to desist from it”. I nodded my head forcefully as if I felt the rhythm of the words connect with my soul. As a big picture thinker who likes to see results and tangible outcomes, this released me. I became free of my definition of “work”, of “impact”.

I’m going away for a year to serve the Jewish communities of the Baltic’s (Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania), and the obvious overarching goal is to make an impact. This quote made “impact” ambiguously flexible; which for me, is a good thing. Instead of impact, I’m now focused on “process”. And enjoying it. Taking the pressure off seeing physical results, instead recognizing small successes and allowing those to direct me forward.

The first 30 minutes of orientation held a major epiphany useful for the next 365 days. Did I expect it? Absolutely not.

And every minute thereafter was full of small realizations and rhythmic soul connections that were unexpected. I walked away from orientation feeling full, whole, satiated in my head and my heart. I’m driven for a deeper purpose beyond myself. I’m driven for my friends, my family, my cohort, JDC, BBYO, the Dallas community, KU, North America, Tallinn, Estonia, the Baltic’s, the world. The responsibility and pride runs through all of these sub-communities; and I hold myself accountable to be the best me while enjoying the process and rolling with the unexpected.

I do, however, expect great things from my new 25 friends around the world! Links to their blogs to come soon.

Until next time,

Jenstonia